jackass97 (jackass97) wrote in viva_la_slash,
jackass97
jackass97
viva_la_slash


            Bam and Ryan were at the bar after a long day of trying to get that stupid slingshot chair to work. Ryan was a little damp but had dried off from the time they had launched him into the pond. He sighed and studied his own outfit. Ryan thought to himself how much of an idiot he looked like. His neon green shorts and his neon skintight blue tank-top.

            It didn’t take long for his eyes to wonder to Bam. He laughed to himself at Bam’s orange tank-top with black pants. He looked like trailer trash. His tank-top had stains on it and it was ripped clear up above his bellybutton. The funniest thing though was his orange headband. It seemed to pull off the outfit. Yet Ryan couldn’t help but think how attractive he looked.

            Ryan watched as he drank his beer slowly, his neck moving with every swallow. The condensation from the glass bottle ran down over his hand and down to his elbow. Bam saw Ryan out of the corner of his eye.

            “What?” Bam asked consciously.

            Ryan shook his head with a smile on his face and turned back to his beer, “Nothing.”

            “You have to tell me now. Don’t act like you weren’t staring at me.” Bam said smugly.

            “Fine I was staring,” Ryan admitted, “but only at your beer.”

            “What, you want it?” Bam asked.

            Ryan sighed, still smiling, and turned toward his crush and nodded.

            “You’re going to have to do something for it.” Bam said in a singsong voice.

            “Why don’t you do something for it?” Ryan countered.

            “Ryan, you’re an idiot. I bough this beer.” Bam chuckled.

            “You’re an idiot.” Ryan shot back.

            “How and why am I the idiot?” Bam was getting annoyed.

            “Cause you’re just an idiot.” Ryan growled. He loved it when Bam gets angry.

            Bam sighed angrily and looked around the bar. He spotted Brandon and Raab talking it up; they seemed to be getting really into it. Bam chuckled, thinking to himself What if they were gay? He soon shook the thought out of his head and went back to Ryan. The blonde was angrily sipping at his beer.

            Bam nudged Ryan, “What if Brandon and Raab were gay?”

            Ryan shrugged, “I wouldn’t care.”

            Bam looked back at the two and shrugged, “That’s sweet Ryan. So when are you going to come out of the closet?” he teased.

            “Shut up Brandon.” Ryan growled Bam’s name.

            For some reason, unknown to Bam, that sent shiver’s down Bam’s back, “Shut up Ryan Matthew.

            Ryan shot a glare at him.

            “You wanna take this outside?” Bam growled.

            Ryan stood up angrily and walked outside with his cancer stick in hand. The two walked out to the parking lot. Ryan walked over to he car momentarily to grab something but it was soon forgotten when someone pushed him against the car. He was pressed flat against the white van. He had no idea where Bam was and probably would get raped. It was dark out and the Jackass van was far enough away from the van that no one would hear him if he yelled.

            Ryan tensed up against the van as the person’s hand traveled from the back to his cock. The person rubbed softly.

            “What’s the matter Ryan?” Bam asked.

            Bam instantly relaxed but tensed back up realizing where Bam was, “W-what are you doing Bam?”

            “What I want to do.” He growled and pushed Ryan further into the vehicle. They now lay on the bottom of their dirty van.

            Bam frowned and pushed something out of the way and straddled Ryan. He instantly smashed his lips to the blondes and didn’t think twice about adding tongue. Ryan, still confused, sat up and propped his body up on his right elbow. Blondie couldn’t help but try and enjoy the kiss by grabbing a better hold of Bam’s waist. Bam made a noise but Ryan decided to ignore it. Ryan started to feel more confident. So slowly he sat up, his back now propped against one of the benches in the bus. Bam still sat on top of him, never moving his lips away from Ryan’s. Bam did now only to shut the door of the van. Ryan watched as he did so and managed to speak.

            “B-bam. Why are you doing this?” Ryan asked.

            “I want to.” Bam replied and kissed Ryan again, a little more tenderly this time but still aggressive.

            Ryan, to his own disliking, pushed Bam away, “I think you’re to drunk. You’ll regret it in the morning.”

            “Ryan, I had three god damn beers. I’m not even buzzed yet. Just shut up.” Bam sighed and attacked Ryan once more.

            Ryan smiled into the kiss and let Bam do what he wanted with him. Knowing Bam it was going to be a hot crazy make-out session. Bam’s hand moved slowly up Ryan’s arm causing him to shiver. As an instinct, Ryan moaned at the shiver. Ryan’s hands ran through Bam’s, knocking the orange headband out. Bam scooped it up and tied it around Ryan’s hands.

            “What’re you doing?” Ryan asked breathless.

            Before he got an answer they were already kissing, but he realized he wasn’t able to touch Bam the way he wanted to. Bam was smiling evilly into the kiss. It wasn’t hard to take the stupid headband off though.

            “Bam.” Ryan said into the kiss.

            He got a hum back.

            “We should go back. They’re going to wonder where we are.” Ryan said quickly.

            Bam sighed and nodded, “Yeah I guess your right.”

            The two breathless men climbed out into the cold night air and headed back inside the warm bar. They sat back down where they previously were and ordered drinks. Once they got theirs Bam almost choked on his. He spit it out, on accident, and turned his head chuckling.

            “What?” Ryan asked looking around for something funny.

            “It doesn’t help anything that you have a boner.” Bam said regaining his composure.

            Ryan’s eyes flung to his pants and then his hands, “Shit.”

            “Am I that hot Dunn?” Bam whispered into his ear.

            Ryan froze.

            “Ryan.” Bam moaned into his ear.

            “What?” Ryan asked.

            “Answer me.” Bam commanded.

            “I-I don’t know.” Ryan grabbed another cigarette and lit it up.

            Bam frowned, “Where did Dico and Raab go?”

            Ryan looked around and soon shrugged, “Probably getting it on in the bathroom.”

            “The Dudesons should be here tomorrow.” Bam brought up.

            “Oh.” was Ryan’s reply.

            “Don’t you like them?” Bam questioned.

            “Yeah I love them. They’re just crazy bastards.” Ryan took a long drag on his cig.

            “I think there’s some gay shit going on between Jukka and HP.” Bam laughed.

            “I think there’s some gay shit going on between us.” Ryan muttered.

            “What was that?” Bam asked lazily.

            “Nothing. But that stuff between Jukka and Hp, I think it’s cute.” Ryan shrugged.

            “You really are gay.” Bam shook his head.

            “Fuck you Brandon.” Ryan muttered into his cigarette.

            Ryan looked over at the bathrooms, arguing with himself if it was worth getting up and peeing. As he looked over two very sweaty guys stepped out of the bathroom. Ryan’s eyes widened and he nearly knocked Bam off of his seat by elbowing him in the side.

            “Look at Brandon and Raab!” Ryan whisper shouted.

            Bam gave him a look of frustration but looked anyway. He gasped and broke into pure laughter, gasping for breath.

            Ape and Phil then walked into the bar obviously looking for Bam and his friends.

            “What a surprise. You guys are drunk.” April said sarcastically.

            Dico and Raab came over quickly and sat down.

            Bam smiled, “Ape look.”

            Ape turned to look at her son and found him making out with Ryan.

            “Bam! Stop it! Ryan doesn’t want you kissing him!” Ape swatted her son away from the blonde.

            Bam chuckled and watched his mom stare at him.

            “Bam are you gay?” She asked slowly.

            “I’m drunk.” was what he replied with.


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